Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
