btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
