oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Michael Bay diarrhea
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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