I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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