Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
