i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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