Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
