dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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