I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
