dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize