Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just found out that she named her cat after me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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