I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
