none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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