im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
