speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
