I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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