The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
