I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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