from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
