My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
this will be a night to untag.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i think my cat just said my name.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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