Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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