I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize