okay pat passed out under dana's car
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
