just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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