I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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