i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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