He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
