He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
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You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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