Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
