I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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