They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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