i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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