Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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