I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
