; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
