A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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