You smell like stripper and shame
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
