fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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