its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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