so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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