I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize