Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
