Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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