dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
