So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
