i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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