you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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