Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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