ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
