are you still at the devil's house?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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