So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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