he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I FOUND THE LEGS
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