My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
