My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i think my cat just said my name.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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