He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
