Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
