....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
