I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
