i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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