he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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