So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
