Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
